Traditional Kashmiri Pandit Wedding/Marriage kashmiri pandit matrimony Kashmiri Pandits previously used to have arranged marriages involving match-making by matching their birth charts followed by physical viewing of bride by bridegroom and his relatives. Now – a – days love marriages and marriages through matrimonial sites and matrimonial columns in Kashmiri Pandit/Brahmin periodicals are becoming popular. A Kashmiri Brahmin marriage consists of elaborate rituals. Beautiful clothes, quality mouth-watering meals prepared by the family cook, mark this happy occasion and make it unforgettable for the couple and all those invited. Some common surnames Kaul, Dhar, Razdan, Peshin, Kaw, Parimoo, Bhat, Pandit, Tickoo, Bamzei, Bazaz, Raina, Warikoo, Wakhlu, Bakaya, Mattoo, Shangloo, Kar, Miskeen, Moza, Hastu. ENGAGEMENT RITUALS Exchange of gifts The purohit (priest) selects an auspicious day for the engagement. On this day gifts are exchanged between the two families. Elaborate meals are served and there is much participation of relatives and friends. Wanwun A wanvun is a music session. It is held after the engagement. Kashmiri folk music is played during the session. PRE-WEDDING RITUALS Livun An auspicious day is chosen by Kashmiri Pandits for the livun, the traditional cleansing of the house. The bride's family and the boy's families do not necessarily do the livun on the same day. All the married female members of the family attend the ceremony. The family cook arrives and puts together a mud-and-brick oven called wur in the compound. This is where the traditional meals will be cooked for the wedding ceremonies also. Wanwun Following the livun, wanwun or music sessions are held every evening at the houses of the bride the groom. Relatives and neighbours participate in these sessions. Maanziraat The maanziraat ceremony takes place a week prior to the marriage. It begins with a ceremony which involves decorating the door of the houses of the prospective bride and the bride groom. The bride-to-be follows an elaborate bathing ritual. After the bath, her eldest aunt decorates her hands and feet with Henna which is also distributed among the relatives and neighbours. The women invited are served a delicious Kashmiri meal prepared by a Kashmiri Hindu Cook. Dinner over, all participate in a music session, which continues for the whole night with tea breaks. Devgon (Dev-Agman) The devgon is a ceremony that marks the transition of the bride and the groom from brahmachariya ashram (the state of celibacy) to grihastha ashram (life of a married person). Before rituals, the parents of the bride and the groom observe a fast. The purohit conducts pooja in front of a sacred fire. The ornaments and utensils that will be given to the bride are placed in front of the fire for blessings of Devas. An essential part of the rituals is the kanishran. This involves bathing the boy /girl with a mixture of water, rice, milk and curd. Flowers are also showered over the boy/girl. They change into a new set of traditional attire following the kanishran. Duribat This ceremony is held on the day of the devgon. The maternal relatives of the bride/groom give gifts and a traditional vegetarian lunch is served. WEDDING RITUALS The bridal attire Donning the traditional wedding attire by the bride and bride groom is a ritual in itself. Their relatives assist them. They dress for the occasion in elaborate wedding gear. The groom's paternal uncle puts the gordastar (turban) on the head of the groom. A gold thread is used to tie a peacock feather to the gordastar. Ceremony at the groom's house Before leaving for the bride's house, the groom must stand on a pattern made of rice flour and colours. He is given nabad (sugar candy) and conch shell is sounded to announce his departure, and some money is given away as alms to the poor. The groom and marriage procession leave for the bride's house. Receiving the marriage procession The arrival of the marriage procession is announced by blowing a conch shell. At the house of the bride friends and relatives greet the procession warmly. The groom stands on colour pattern called the vyog that has been made for the occasion. The bride's maternal uncle carries her out and she joins the groom on the vyog. Any older female member of the family feeds nabad to the bride and the groom and kisses them. Two rice pots are given away to the poor. The couple is led by the family purohit who performs a small ceremony here called dwar pooja before leading them to the lagan mandap where the marriage rites are performed. The wedding ceremony The purohit performs the rituals in front of a sacred fire. One of the rituals, aathwas, requires the couple to cross their arms and hold hands in this position. Their hands are covered with a cloth. According to Kashmiri folklore, the first to be able to pull out the engagement ring of the other will be the one to play a dominating role in the relationship. A mananmal, golden thread, is tied to their foreheads. The left foot of the bride and groom are placed on a kajwat or grinding stone. There are a total of seven pheras made around the fire. At the end of the ritual of marriage the bride and the groom are made to sit in a comfortable posture. A red cloth is placed on their heads, and then all the people around offer them flowers in accompaniment of vedic manters. This is called “Posh Pooza: - worshipping of the couple, considered Shiva and Parvati, with flowers. The bride and groom feed each other some food after the ceremony. Vidai The newly-weds must stand on the vyog while the eldest female member of the bride feeds them nabad thrice and kisses them on the forehead. The bride is seated in a doli by her relatives and friends bid her good-bye as she sets off for her new home. Welcoming the newly-weds The groom's eldest aunt refuses the newly-weds entry into their home until she receives some jewellery. The couple must stand on a specially created vyog and have nabad by eldest aunt. She kisses them on the forehead. A pair of pigeons is set free to celebrate the newly-weds. The mananmal tied on the forehead of the couple are exchanged. The couple are led to the kitchen where they must sit on the mud stove. The cook serves them food. After the meal, the bride changes into the new set of clothes and jewellery, given to her by her in-laws. POST-WEDDING RITUALS Satraat The bride goes to visit her parents in the evening. Her husband and some children accompany her. The newly-weds are given new clothes etc. Phirlath This is the ceremony that takes place when the couple visit the bride's parents again. Once again, they are given new clothes to mark the occasion. Roth Khabar On a Saturday or Tuesday after the wedding, the bride's parents send a roth or freshly baked cake, to their son-in-law's family. The bride accompanies the carrier (her brother) back home. She stays over for a few days and returns only when someone from in-laws comes to fetch her back.